March 21-April 19 |
This month has much in store for you. You should be careful of things which may be dangerous but welcome those things which are good for you. You should also try to strike a balance between eating too much and eating too little. |
September 23-October 22 |
If you are in the middle, there will be just as many on either side of you. If this is a situation which you don't wish to be in. Either do something about it, or do nothing. "Golf" is a four-letter word, as is "Love", though the two aren't necessarily related. Pills can't solve everyhting, but they do solve lots of things. |
April 20-May 20 |
It doesn't rain every day. Use those non-rainy days to do things that you can't normally do when it rains. Be careful not to stub your toe because it hurts if you do. Always remember, running is faster than walking, but it takes more energy. |
October 23-November 21 |
A dark cloud can block out the sun. It may also bring much-needed rain. A waltz has three beats in every bar and this month has 31 days. Use them wisely for they will never come again, nor will the world ever be quite the same again. |
May 21-June 20 |
A chicken is just an egg's way of making another egg. You reap what you sow, so don't forget to sow if you wish to reap. The influence of the planets on your life is significant this month, even if you never notice it. A piece of string is exactly twice as long as half its length. |
November 22-December 21 |
Man cannot live on bread alone, but without bread things can get tricky. Perhaps this is a good month to try a different staple like rice for instance. Not all roads lead to Rome, but all butterflies are arthropods. A butterfly without its wings is not a butterwalk, nor is it a fly without its butter. |
June 21-July 22 |
Not everything is as black and white as they seem. Except for things like chequered flags. Remember that the sun always rises in the East, no matter what you do, so you may as well go with the flow. Don't watch too much TV. |
December 22-January 19 |
People need to breathe. Do not forget this. There are seven days in a week so use them wisely. Alternatively, you could procrastinate, but this doesn't change the number of days in a week. Don't worry about things which don't affect you, otherwise they will affect you. |
July 23-August 22 |
Do not mix your peanut butter and WD-40 without expecting bad consequences. Some things are better off seperate and others are better off together. Someone in your immediate circle of friends is about to do something. |
January 20-February 18 |
If you are going too fast, slow down. If you are going too slowly, speed up. Life goes on, with or without frogs. The pace of life isn't likely to remain constant for too long. If things get boring, bring a book. |
August 23-September 22 |
You need stamps to post letters. Think about it. This month, the moon's influence causes the tides to come in as well as out. Don't drink too much or too little, moderation is the key. Stay out of the way of speeding Mac trucks. |
February 19-March 20 |
Notwithstanding the picture tube, a television is very much like a radio. When push comes to shove, things get shoved. Be careful. Your energy levels may go up this month, but if they don't then they may either stay the same or go down. Try not to eat any rubber bands. |
